Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Wow Domestic Disputes (Part 2)

Most WoW players arent the stereotypical geek who has no friends, job, or chance at a woman (or man). I for one have a job, a fiance, and some very good friends. All of my friends play WoW, but my fiance does not understand the game at all. It is the one thing that we usually fight about despite the fact that my WoW playing schedule is based on what is best for her. I have did a previous post about some of the things you may hear if you have a non-WoW playing significant other here

I think I won a small battle last night in the fight for WoW. My fiance hates the game irrationally. I only play on 3 designated nights, which are Weds, Sat, and Sun. All three of those days I only play when she is asleep. I play sporadically at other times when she is not there. I for one think that I have made a great compromise in an effort to spend all waking moments together, but for some reason she did see it this way. I used to play every single night. Then I cut it back to 4 days....then to its current 3. She tried to get me to play only 2 nights but I refused.

She said that she loves our "snuggle" nights, and she feels like I would rather play the game than "spend time" with her. My retort was that I was not "spending time" with her when she is sleeping. I am laying next to her doing absolutely nothing just so she wont get pissed off.

On WoW nights, I lay down with her for about 30 minutes then get up to play. Without fail, she usually gets an attitude about it. She tried to tell me that she doesnt have the same kind of outlet that I have with WoW. I countered that all of her stupid TV shows are her outlet (I didnt say stupid, but you know what I mean). She countered that I play WoW by myself and that she watches her shows with me. My arguement is that:

a) I only watch the shows with her because I know it will make her happy. I dont like watching Grey's Anatomy, The Practice, The Hills, Desperate Housewives, One Tree Hill, etc. for my health. If not for her, I would never watch a single one. I also watch them with her because I am making an effort to do an activity that she likes. We are both awake during this time and I want to spend as much time together as possible. If I got up and went to the computer during this time she would throw a fit.

b) If I treated her "outlet" the way she treated mine, we would spend no time together. I dont want to make her come sit and watch me play WoW for hours at a time. Hence why I play on designated nights when she is sleeping. Everyone enjoys differend mediums of entertainment. Mine is video games. I wouldnt watch anything besides sports or G4 if it was my choice.

I think that I got her to understand my point of view for once (even if it was reluctantly). My daily routine consists of go to work, come home, run, make dinner, watch crappy tv shows while eating dinner, and either go to bed with my fiance, or play WoW when she falls asleep depending on the night. You will notice that we do her "outlet" every single day. I do mine alone a few nights a week. Who is the person who really isnt willing to compromise. I even stopped any and all raiding to keep the peace at home.

Im sure alot of people out there share the same experiences. Sorry for the rant :)


Anonymous said...

It's like reading an autobiography. I spend every waking moment that I am not in work or in class with her, yet when I want to play wow for an hour or two, all of a sudden I never want to hang out with her.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand this post. I have the EXACT same discussions/arguments with my wife. Especially the whole "we can watch TV together" part. Heh, trying to interact with my wife is like talking to a brick wall when Meridith pops in or Dr. Dreamy decides he's gonna show some lesbian how to do oral sex. I don't really see how that's "watching together" if I don't like the TV show at all. I think one of the major differences between playing WoW and doing other "not-spending-time-together" things like fishing, going to the gym, or playing some sports is that WoW takes place in the house where your significant other is. They can see you sitting there paying attention to a computer and other people, and that makes them jealous. It's biological. Just tell her that you could be out at the bar or something gettting hit on by women that look like Eva Mendes...she'll get over it really quick.

Herc said...

I feel ya man ... I really do. Then one day I asked her to move my toon around AV so it won't kick me out (i know i know shame on me).

After that the rest is history and she now has her own account. I still raid and stuff but I make the time so we quest together, lots of fun.

Keep on fighting the good fight!

Orgauth said...

I was beginning to wonder if you had planted a webcam in my house. Seriously.

Vaelin said...

I have a wife and daughter, I understand some of your pain...

But GOOD GOD... you watch the HILLS with her... she has NO grounds for complaint.

Earlygrayce said...

I am married, w/ 3 kids, and play WoW. Yes Yes we have all heard these things from our significant others. What I read into your post is that you "fiance" is trying to establish dominance or control of you/your relationship before you are married. This is common. It doesn't matter if you were playing WoW, basketball with your friends, or just working late to earn extra money. The reaction from young women are the same.

Here's the part you don't know. Once they sink the hook into you get the ring on the finger, and have established "Her Rules", they don't want you bothering them anymore. But you will notice that she will continue to try & control your daily routines

You hit the nail on the head when you implied what does it matter if your playing while she's asleep. It's her form of establishing control, mentally.

IMO, u need 2 nip this behavior of hers in the bud, or you will suffer for it the rest of your life.

She doesn't hate WoW. She hates the object that you enjoy that is not her, whatever that object may be.

Darraxus said...

Thankfully I have her playing now, and this is not nearly as bad as it once was. She is actually enjoying the game, and on Weekends we often end up playing all day. It is a lot of fun playing with her, and things are still very new for her so she finds some things very humorous.