Friday, August 7, 2009

Of Mini-Vans and Man Points

Yes, believe it or not, this is WoW related.

For starters, I hate mini-vans. I also seem to dislike their drivers. Mind you, if I know the driver that is different. I hate the anonymous mini-van drivers in this world. There are several reasons based on my personal observations.

a) Mini-van look dumb. They are ugly.
b) You lose man points if you are seen driving a mini-van and there are no kids in the back.
c) They only have two speeds on the highway.....20 mph under the flow of traffic speed or 95 mph with kids in the back. This is all done in the fast lane mind you. God forbid a fucking mini-van get in the middle or slow lane.

So, in WoW, I have two mini-vans. They are in the form of one class, and one race.

As I have stated before, I think priests sucks ass. Not priests in general as I know several awesome priests of both shadow and healy specs. It is playing the class itself that turns it into my mini-van. I just cant enjoy the class. That being said, I have only played a priest to 20 or so. That is kind of like having a mini-van without having kids to haul. I know they get easier later on and are outstanding healers and dpsers, but there is just road block for me.

The second one is Night Elves. Specifically Male Night Elves. I have one due to the fact that only Night Elves can be a Druid. He stays in Tree or Boomkin for much of the time. I cant stand looking at them. I have a friend who rolls every toon as NE if they are available for the class. He is awesome. Much like mini-van driver, I like him because I know him. I look at other Male Night Elves and usually want to punch them in the face. Same thing for Blood Elves. If you are anything other than a Paladin, you deserver a face punch for rolling belf. These rules do not apply to females as they are allowed to choose the "pretty" race. You lose man points for selecting the "pretty" race.

Other minor annoyances of mine are dudes who roll female toons. I know several who do. I even know a few who do it to annoy me. You are a dude. Play as a dude. Especially on an RP server. You can use the excuse that "I would rather stare at a hot female". You fail at being a man. You lose man points. You lose additional man points for calling a cartoon "hot".

Anyways, I know everyone has their "mini-van". It could be a class, race, or behavior. What is your mini-van?


Dorgol said...

Yeah - the Night Elf is really, really annoying. And like you, I have to have one because of the Druid restriction.

That said - I think the single worst class / race combination in the game these days is Blood Elf Death Knight.

You take the most annoying class and combine it with the most annoying race and get EXACTLY what you would expect.

Everyone likes to yell "For the Horde!" and act superior to everyone else. And then I remind them - "You have Blood Elf Death Knights" and they tend to shutup.

Darraxus said...

I agree on the BE DKs. At least I am Alliance side so I dont have to hear them.

Arioch said...

So what if I'm female... but rolled the "pretty race" for its racial... but rolled a male character?

Is that a mini-van? I don't have any man points to lose... I'm all confused now.

Darraxus said...

I actually dont mind girls rolling guy toons because usually it is so some loser doesnt harass them. There are still guys out there that change their attitude towards you if they find out you are a woman (usually either rude or pervy). My sister roll male toons for this very reason.

"D" said...

I'm a girl, so I get to roll on whatever I want. :-)

My minivan would have to be night elf hunters, regardless of gender. Seriously, what racial do night elves have that makes that race better for hunters than other races? Dwarves get the gun bonus, and Draenei get a hit rating bonus and a free little heal spell, and Night Elves get .... uhh .... Shadowmeld? (Oh yeah, they already get that - it's called Feign Death.) The extra little dodge ability? (Because hunters are known primarly for being a melee class ...)

Darraxus said...

Yeah, NE Huntards are lol. The one advantage for Shadowmeld was at the start of arena matches and for defending flags in AB.

Mikata said...

Hm... I love being able to play the gender card and get away with almost anything as a chick. But... on the other hand, I've been told once by someone that "they would rather think of me as a 12 year old boy because they assume a 12 year old kid would know more about a video game than any woman would."

Yup... there's my minivan. 12 year old players who think they're 1337. /rolleyes

Darraxus said...

I have yet to meet a decent 12 year old player male player who was at all competent. I know of a (formerly) 13 year old who was much better. And is female.

kyrilean said...

(-1) - Drives a mini-van.
(-1) - Drives a mini-van to work without kids in the back.
(-5) - Plays 5 female toons. Two on a regular basis.
(-1) - Have used the excuse that I'd rather stare at hot female.
(-1) - Has meant it. (Female Blood Elves.)
(-1) - Has called a female cartoon "hot". Fortunately mostly or jokes.

Total: -10 Man Points


Darraxus said...

@ Kry: Sigh. I think you are in the negative now. ;)

Anonymous said...

night elfs use to get an + 5% agl as a racial before they took it off but they still have the highest agi in the game, thats why you see so many of them. i love mini vans you must have never driven one to put a bad name on it :( and i have 5 female toons and see nothing wrong with that i take away man points to those who only play male toons :P

Darraxus said...

@ Anonymous: OH NO YOU DINENT...(ok I give myself -1 man point for saying that).

Fish said...

Peyton Manning on minivans:

I actually kind of like Night Elves, I prefer Humans, but they have some cool facial hair.

And to the poster above, horde has blood elf death knights, alliance has GNOME death knights. . .

Pangoria Fallstar said...

I play whatever toon I think looks best. I perfer the look of female tauren over the male ones.

My excuse, female taurens look hot.

+3 man points for me for standing up to Darraxus the Bully, telling us how to be a man. LOL (that's so you know I'm just fcking with you)

Darraxus said...

It does take a real man to play a female tauren :) Damn they are ugly

Anonymous said...

You think female tauren are ugly but you want me to play a female dwarf for my hunter instead of an elf? :O

Darraxus said...

It also take a real man to play a female dwarf. /shudder

*vlad* said...

No character is more macho than a male Orc. My Orc Shaman reeks of testosterone (or the Orc equivalent), but he is a Shaman, and sometimes wears a dress.

Cross-dressing ftw..

Anonymous said...

If you are a man you are a man. If you are a man you can play whatever character you want to play. Why should I lost point just because I play a female toon? This is just MCP. My mini-van is man that is MCP.

If a guy relates the toon gender to his real gender is just simply confuse with his own gender.