WoW....in real life (part 1)

Obviously, WoW is pretty much nothing like real life. We dont run around killing dragons and fighting off hordes of undead zombies. However, it is very interesting to think of specific people as roles that you may find in WoW. The first part of this little series is going to deal with tanks (naturally). This is not to be taken seriously in any way, shape, or form.

What do tanks do? They cause a lot of threat, take the hits for their team mates, and are very resilient. Who do you consider to be real life tanks?

1) The Wingman: when you go out to the club, you bring your Wingman along. This is a buddy who is trying to help you score with the lucky (or perhaps unlucky) lady of your choice. How is the Wingman a tank? This is really an easy one. You are going after the hot chick (purpz). Standing in the way of your loot? The big fat friend (Raid Boss). The Wingman swoops in and gets aggro with his witty humor and plate full of chicken wings. He takes one for the team....just like the tank.

2) Supermarket Kid: You know who I am talking about. If you dont, YOUR KID IS SUPERMARKET KID!!!! Supermarket kid it the one who is throwing a major tantrum because they did not get the fruity cereal they desired. Supermarket kids are perhaps the best AOE tanks in the game (world). Not only do they have a 500x embarassment modifier applied to their parents, but they also have everyone in a two aisle radius thinking about punching them in the face. Unfortunately, they are a squishy tank and easily distracted.

3) High School Nerd: High School Nerds are an all around tank apparently. Not only are they very good at holding aggro against bullies with such trademark moves as wedgie and trash canned, they also have a mass fear ability that effects all women in the area. They are also one of the most resilient tanks out there. No matter how many corpse runs they have to make back to their self esteem, they will probably end up winning the encounter with Life over the bullies.

Anyone else have any examples? I would be happy to add them to my post. If I dont get to post again before Saturday, Happy 4th.