Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Worst Players You Have Known

At some point you are going to play with some terrible players. Some of them are terrible because they just don't get it. Some are terrible because they are douchebags with an inflated sense of self worth. Over the course of playing, I have come across many many terrible players. Some of them get better at what they are "bad" at over time. Some never change. Here are some players that I have played with who were terribad. Their names will be changed to protect their identity :)

Ding: That is not actually his character's name, but it is what everyone calls him. Probably because he would come into vent and shout DIIIINNNNG. Every time he logged on. He also seemed to have tourettes as he would constantly be shouting "Shit" or "Piss". Oddly enought, this is not what made him "bad". It was purely how he played his Paladin. During the first part of BC, he was Ret. Ret was not particularly good, but he was especially bad. First thing was that he wore mostly tank gear while he was doing his ret thing. On top of the, HE DID NOT USE CRUSADER STRIKE!!!! One of a Paladin's main damage abilities and he did not use it. His damage was made up of 90 percent plain white melee. Needless to say he was doing less damage than the tank.

These days, Ding is actually pretty decent....on his Holy Priest. He still has his Paladin, but I very rarely see it these days...which is probably a good thing unless he actually figured things out.

Angst: This guy was a double threat when it came to bad. He had a mage with decent gear who was terrible. He also had a terrible prot warrior that he could not tank with to save his life. The mage was absolutely the worst. First, he was bad. Second, he would argue and bitch when anyone tried to help him out. I remember when one guy argued with him for 2 hours about how to play his mage. It was hilarious. I think they were both drunk.

You would think that with his low DPS, he was a frost mage....but he was a cookie cutter fire mage. I outdpsed him on my Prot Warrior in Regular Shadowlabs. This was when Prot Warriors had huge threat modifiers but couldnt do crap for DPS. He was well under 300 dps. His toon did more dps when it was mind controlled by Blackheart the Inciter. At least he could kill something then.

Angst ended up leaving guild eventually and starting his own guild....which was full of other terribads. It made me a sad panda when I saw that his Mage was eventually in full epics. At least he had not leached them (at least not all of them as he had done some raids with my guild). They were mostly crafted and PvP epics.

Douchemax: Douchemax was awesome DPS. He was an awesome PvPer. He was a lousy dickhead of a person. The guy basically just put down people constantly because there was no worry of him getting beat up in real life. He would tell you how shitty your dps was or how your gear sucked. The only people he was nice to were the girls in the guild. Yeah, one of those. He wanted to be alpha male, and since there was no way a 130 pound dork could do it in real life, he tried to do it in game. Annoyingly, he never got kicked for his bullshit behavior. He was kept around because of his DPS.

Douchemax is still a douche these days, but I dont have to deal with him at least. The last communication I had with him was when I sent him about 500 low level fish....individually. It had to have taken him a while to clear all that out.

Girl Category: I lumped this into one category because unfortunately, many of the girl players I have known were terrible in many different ways. Not to say that I did not know my share of good ones.

The first one is a player that I have played with since the days of Vanilla. She has a Hunter and a Priest at cap. He priest was her raid toon and was pretty darn good. Her Hunter was.....OMG. She was well known for her wipe causing accidents...such as.....backing into a group of Aboms at the event just before Rivendare in Strat Dead. Having her pet on aggressive and starting the magtheridon event before half of the raid had entered the room. Falling off of ledges and getting stuck were also common occurences.

There was another that was terribad as a Fury Warrior. She could not DPS her way out of a cardboard box. She then rolled a resto druid....and couldnt HEAL her way out of a cardboard box despite eventually being in mostly T5 gear. Why was she around? She was cybering with half of the men in the guild. And they didnt know about each other 0_0. She told them that she wanted to be with them etc. Well, it all blew up when the guys got to talking and finally figured it out. She then quit because her "husband" told her to. She did not have a husband. She also transfered servers and "gave her account to her cousin".

The last one I will talk about is a terribad that transfered from another server and joined my old guild to raid. She was awful. It did not matter if it was in Cat or Bear form. She ended up getting fully geared withing a few weeks then taking the epics and starting a crappy guild called (her name) and her Minions. How ridiculously retarded.

Anyways, who are some of the bads you have played with?


"D" said...

I once used to play with a mage that is from New Zealand, so her accent over Vent as well as her "motherly" tendancies (usually towards everyone except for the officers of whichever guild she happens to be in - to those she would make "friends" with by asking personal questions) got her to high positions in each guild quickly. To those that were not in positions of power, this was of course frustrating to no end. But she was invited to the top raids with the top players and given top pieces of gear. People would quit guilds and guilds broke apart because of her.

The problem? Well, once when her then-guild was going through Obsidian Sanctum, a pugged tank asked her to be in charge of removing curses on those tall mobs .. and she had no clue that mages could remove curses. At level 80. On her ONLY toon at level cap.

And despite her being invited to all raids (she plays every day) with the top players of whichever guild she happens to be in, she was constant failure, even though she was handed the best gear - I pugged a VoA 25 with her recently and her gear was Ulduar 10 and 25 level ... and she pulled about 2200 dps on Emalon. I am positive that when I was raiding Naxx with her, she never pulled over 2500 dps and she was never within the top 10 dps. Not only that, but she went to Naxx 10 and 25 every single week .. and not once did she ever live through Heigan's dance.

She's just a terrible player and a terrible mage, in other words, who bullies her way into positions of power but has no business being any sort of leader. She clearly doesn't know her class.

Thank goodness I don't play with her anymore. :-P

Another player is sort of the same way - a resto druid who is decked out in Ulduar gear due to being in a guild short on healers and he plays every day .. but he ALWAYS gets hit by flame walls, dies to fires, etc. Whenever there's a fight with a "get out of the bad stuff" mechanic, you can pretty much guarantee that he will die to that mechanic. Nice guy, great gear, and on fights where there's NOT a mechanic like that, he is a superb healer. He just has zero raid awareness - it might be the tunnel vision, but good LAWD.

Antigen said...

I did a heroic Utgarde Keep with another Ret that popped wings on trash pulls and still somehow managed to pull only 1400 dps. How did he accomplish this remarkable feat, you may ask? Recount reported that his most used move was Consecration.


Vorian87 said...

- holy paladin who stacks spellpower in naxx and the same guy as prot who didnt know what righteous fury or blessing of sanctuary was....

- cookie cutter blood dk dps who cannot live more than 10seconds into hodir...

- another dk who kept pestering the RL/masterlooter about buying loot in naxx25 if it dropped

- prot pally with hit gems... when i asked him about and offered suggestions, the paladin said he was uncrittable, that defense past that point was a waste, that stam would come from gear and that hit is more important

- and as for girls in game, my experiences with them have been quite different from yours. I have never played with any terribads or bads... they are all usually good players from what i have seen, even though they may need to be pointed in a good direction once in a while.

River said...

I got plenty of stories indeed, I won't bore you.

I do want to add though, if you don't have any bad player stories...then your the bad player. :P

Anonymous said...

heh im a female player and its been a while since i pulled anything less than top 3 dps in a 25 man :D

although there is a warlock in my guild that often pulls less than 2k dps no matter how much gear he gets / advice he is given (hes been pulled through ulduar for portals and such - wish they would find a decent one)

oh and not to mention the arms warrior, in tanking gear, that seems to like standing in every pretty cloud

since they get to suck so much i took great delight in getting a pair of peacekeepers blades (bearing in mind im a rogue :P) i love walking around in them and pretending to suck - have yet to find a group that will let me use them for a raid though :( i can pull 3k dps off on a dummy with them so they should at least see outings in hcs <3

Anonymous said...

We have a mage in our guild who uses a tanking cloak and a physical damage sword in case there is hand-to-hand fighting.

We do bring him on some alt Naxx-10raids because his presence or absence will not change the end results and he is actually a fun guy to have around.

He did 900 DPS Wednesday!

It was fun to see him rush forward and start swinging his sword on some trash pull. And it's amazing how fast he can be dancing on a corpse to which he dealth the killing blow.

His fast reflexes do come handy when it is time to decurse, an area where he is especially strong.

But 900 DPS is 900 DPS and it was 500 less than the tanks and 1200 less than any other other DPS.