Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Fail Tank Strikes Again.....more at 11!!!!!
Last night was Return of the Failtank. Much like Luke in Empire Strikes Back, he did not finish his training....and HE WAS NOT PREPARED!!!!!
I was questing on my Warlock sitting in LFG for regular ToC when I get a whisper to pew pew for some free epix. Hells yeah I thought. Once the group gets going, it is a 80 prot paladin, 80 ret paladin, 79 Hunter, 80 Holy Priest, and me, the 78 Warlock.
As soon as we get in, the tank tells us that he has never tanked the instance before. Meh, no big deal. If you have done it in any other role, you should be able to do it with no problem.
What he really meant was "I have never tanked anything ever." During the first boss fight, we were pulling aggro like a paparazzi at Brittney Spears house. Which is really stange considering that I was doing like 1400-1500 dps and the Hunter was doing 1200ish.
There turned out to be two reasons why. Number one. The guy didnt have righteous fury on. To which he responded "Lol I forgot". Second....in the immortal words of the Onyxia Wipe guy....HE DID NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO. Rotations? Who needs them. 969 rotation? Who needs it! He did 500 dps on the first boss encounter.....yes, you read that correctly. 5 fucking hundred dee pee ess. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!?
So, we move on to the next boss. Unlucky for us, we get the priest bitch. We wipe. Our DPS is a bit low overall. The tank has shot up to a massive.....600 DPS!!!! We get back in and start buffing up.
Then the other Paladin says "Lol seal of light". Yes, he was actually tanking with seal of light. Instead of smashing his head in with a fireplace poker, I decided that I would help Corky out. I let him know what he should probably be using vengeance. Using light instead of vengeance is like using a nerf bat instead of a real bat. You could theoretically beat someone to death....but it would take a REALLY FUCKING LONG TIME. I also told him about Maintankadin.com for all of his pally tanking needs. I also told him to judge more. It was his lowest damage damage ability in the run.
With a few more tools in his toolbelt, he actually did a respectable 1500 dps on the Black Knight. We turned that Fail Tank into a real tank with just a little bit of guidance. I am sure he has a long way to go, but actually helping people works a lot better than just laughing at them. Although the laughing part is good for blogging, it wont make him suck less.