Thursday, January 15, 2009

Melee Huntard

At one point or another, everyone has met that special WoW player that just warms your heart with their absolute retardedness. They may seem like normal people, and seem to be well geared. This is just a thin fascade for the terrible that lies beneath. Below are some examples of these wonderful, wonderful players.

Melee Hunter: At one time or another, everybody has probably known one. Instead of sending in their pet and blasting away, they send in their pet and charge after with Mongoose Strikes flying. These people are most often seen at lower levels, but a few slip thru the cracks and actually make it to 80. How this happens I dont know. Some of them may not even have their pet out. They think that they are polearm wielding, spirit mail wearing, arms warriors. When you try to suggest that they use a ranged weapon, they scoff and call you a noob. These are the same people who roll on axes with strength on them.

The Tank?: This is the toon that you dont know exactly what they do. They are geared like a tank, often wear a two hander, and put out 300 dps. Their attacks mainly consist of auto attack. Quick story about this one. I knew a warrior "tank" who rolled need over a Druid on the staff at the end of Hellfire Ramparts. He justified it by saying "I need to get my staff skill up". Warriors using staves are fail. This was actually the same guy who I out dpsed with my prot warrior in blues (right at the beggining of 70 level raiding) while he was playing on his fire mage. I think his rotation consisted of Pyroblast.

The Lollock: Warlocks were considered overpowered at one point. I read a story of someone who was questing in Burning Steppes Pre BC and got a whisper from a Lock who was questing out there. He had heard that a Warlock was easy mode, and wondering why it was so hard to kill things. The other toon asked the Lock his spec to which he replied "Whats a spec?" Apparently, the lock had leveled completly without putting a single skill point anywhere. He didnt even know what a skill point was.

The Retardin: Ret used to be bad. Like really bad. I had a buddy who was an amazing ret paladin when they werent very good. I knew another guy who wansnt so good. He was dressed half in prot gear and DPSed with a shield on. His damage rotation did not include Crusader Strike. Needless to say, he was fail on so many levels. Oddly enough he went on to become quite a decent healbot.

The Lazy Rogue: You know the one. He wont sap, barely pays attention, and jumps around constantly while you are explaining things. During BC, I had one such Rogue who I ran with on a fairly regular basis. This rogue was pretty much in full epics. While running our farm kara, I noticed that he was putting out around 400 dps. I later found out that he was playing in windowed mode and watching youtube. I told him next time he did that shit, he would never be back in one of my runs. The next week he did double DPS (and payed attention for the most part).

What kind of ridiculous players have you run into?


Hudson said...

I approve of this post!

Anonymous said...

today. after first boss H VH, hunters weapon breaks. Melee the rest of the way. My ret pally puts out 2600 Dps. rest of group puts out a combined 2k dps. wow.

Occeleta said...

Don't forget the Altaholics. They know how to play their main and likely each other class they put effort in, and can often be good players. But when you need them they are always off leveling an alt.

While they may have topped the dps charts to start, since they lack the focus to gear up the one, they sooner or later start dropping as everyone else gets better geared.

At one point they can offer a wide variety of options to bring to the raid... If they weren't off rolling a new toon on another realm because they filled the 10 spots available on yours.

thedoctor said...

What a great post...

LOL @ Occeleta's comment,. I have a friend exactly like that and knows everything about wow you could possible know except some heroic fights and raids. Currently he has 3 80s and leveling up his 4th, which is currently 71.

When I was reading the post, I couldn't help but to remember when I was in a group for regular Drak'Tharon, everyone was around 75ish including the Shockadin! He ended up doing a whooping 7% of the dmg output for the whole run and he thought he was a BAD A$$.(He didn't have dmg meters of course =P)

Everyone in the group was way to amused to say anything to him. Good times and a great read =P

Vuur said...

How about the people who leveled to 80 and are still using the spec for when they were 70?

We had a warrior tank that was really good in BC. WoTLK came out and he was still in the same spec as when he was 70. He was gearing himself the same way as he had at 70 and was wondering why everyone was ripping aggro off him almost immediately....

Or the person who levels to 80 but just can't get rid of the purples they worked so hard for. I can't tell you how many people I run into at 80 that still have their t4/t5 set bonus....and maybe 1 blue from level 76

Darraxus said...

To be fair about the gear, I kept many of my pieces until very late 70s or even 80 until I had the rep etc for better pieces. No excuse to be running around with 2 piece t4 though. I replaced my t4 shoulders from a quest in the Nexus and that was the best T4 piece for tanks.