Friday, January 15, 2010

I get all the best DPS..../sarcasm

So. People really don't care that they are bad. I ran with Dgsyr-Skywall. He was pretty terrible. The worst part is that he got into a Heroic FoS. I am guessing that he had his DK guildie queue them up. If your gear is bad, you are not supposed to be able to get in. And do 1100 dps. And generally not know what is going on. So, lets break down his amazingness shall we?

1) 1130 dps in Heroic FoS. Well below what you should be at in there.
2) 71 points in destruction without even having Chaos Bolt.
3) Second highest dps ability used? Hellfire......yes HELLFIRE.
4) Glyph of Syphon Life.....HE IS NOT AFFLICTION.
5) An melee DPS cloak....with Agility enchanted on it.
6) Two gems in all of his gear......1 mp5 gem, and 1 resilience gem
7) Upgraded his melee DPS neck with an mp5 neck.
8)Spirit and MP5 trinkets
9) One enchant on any of his gear.....on the melee cloak
10) He used pretty much every single spell he has as part of his rotation. Even used his wand.
11) He has the Patient title....which means many many pugs have been subjected to this.

I don't know what it is. I seem to be a magnet for bads.


19 comments:

Arioch said...

You should transfer to the Emberstorm battlegroup. One of two things will happen:
1 - your luck improves and you don't get the bads
2 - your bads magnetism keeps the bads away from me

Someone wins, right?

Vailladin said...

Dgsyr ? Sounds like a power leveled gold farmer !

or maybe he wanted to name himself after what you accidentally type in chat after watching his "performance" and smash your head against the keyboard.

Eversor said...

My recommendations:
1. Turn off recount...don't even look...just don't.
2. No inspections or gearscore...again, just don't do it.
3. Instance completed with relatively little pain? Good, enough said.

But wait, if you did that I wouldn't be able to read about the miserable pug's you get that make me look like a superstar! Forget everything I said! Keep on pugging! On a side note, i notice most of the bloggers are alliance and my pug record is nowhere near as fail as yours or anybody else writing about it. Seriously. On 4 80's I've only had a few bad experiences. Someone once told me most kids play alliance. True? If so, possible reason?

Vailladin said...

I take that back, a gold farmer is smarter than this guy, a bot is better than this guy

Leah said...

this is the most hillarious WTF character I've seen in a while. that much fail, almost seems deliberate.

btw, FoS doesn't have nearly as stringent requirements as HoR and if I'm correct in my assumptions, it merely calculates your average ilvl, not the actually quality or appropriateness of your gear. it also takes gear you have in your bags into account. SO that rogue Dagger he acquired recently from Black knight? might count too.

angrygamer09 said...

Your tales of FAIL never cease to amaze me. I have never seen someone with such bad luck

Eus said...

*sigh* I have handed you cookies. I even handed you the rolled up newspaper....only thing left I can offer is a ballbat of correction. After that, you're on your own lol

Darth Solo said...

You know, I have a feeling that some of these freaks are intentionally wearing crappy gear and a crazy spec just to fuck with people. I mean, how can you get to 80 and not know the fundamentals of playing your toon?

Darraxus said...

@ Darth: Unfortunately, soloing your way to 80 is ridiculously easy. Especially from classes like Warlocks and Hunters where they can send their pet in and do fine.

Vordan said...

@ Eversor - Horde say that Alliance is played by kids, Alliance say Horde is played by kids. It really depends on your server and battle group. I play horde and everyone is a f*cking asshat that I happen to group with. Again on my alliance the same exact thing. You have just been extremely lucky with groups. Good for you for not getting into uberfail groups. It will happen soon or later though, and it will hit you hard.

Vordan said...

Oh and I just noticed Dgsyr, he is wearing a Glacial Robe with no gems...fail

Anonymous said...

Ran an at level Azoj Nerub with this tool

Sukmydk

L72 Dranei Deathknight

Need I say more.

koalabear said...

4 hours ago he got a dodge trinket, and equipped it.

He has the berserker trinket equipped as well.

I might have just kept my int pants on my level 69 DK for shits and giggles, but this goes above and beyond.

I didn't know there were people this stupid.

Darraxus said...

Holy shit, he purchased the tanking trinket for 50 emblems.

Eversor said...

@ Vordan-I suppose the "which faction do more kids play?" is probably much like the "which faction always wins AV?" question! I have had a few bad pugs, but I'd say 80-90 percent have been good or uneventful at the worst (which is generally a good thing!). I haven't seen too many of the horrible "wtf?!?!" players. Most of my bads have been the uber-geared with a bad attitude!

Blackthought / Deathwing said...

i think i just found my next months noob of the month at http://www.nomorenoob.com

god I hope that's deliberate.

Adrian said...

Plus he's using that awesome Agility staff, goes nicely with the cloak I guess.

Darraxus said...

The sad thing is that he got a 232 casting weapon in the run that i did with him.

*vlad* said...

Glyph of Siphon Life is one of the worst glyphs you can have, even if you are Affliction - a bonus to self-heals? Terribad.