Sad Face....Initiated

So.....I have been tanking with my Paladin the last couple of days....and WTF? That shit is easy. I have tanked on my Warrior since vanilla.....I have got that shit down....but I still cant match the amount of dps I put out on my Paladin. When I do, it is for double the work.

I have to really try to put out 2k plus on my warrior in instance. On my Paladin, I can faceroll the keyboard and get 2k. I did like 2.8k in and instance last night on my Pally. Like I said, it makes me quite sad.

That said, I do enjoy tanking with both classes. Warriors seem to have more shit to work with. I also have a lot more silences on my Warrior....and charge.....the best thing ever in WoW. Seriously, those of you who have not played a Warrior will never know the full fucking joy of WoW. Running in at high speed and face smashing is the best.

On my Paladin, I love the Captain America Shield. That shit is fun too. But not nearly as fun as charge....so take that alt tank.

Sadly, Warrior tanks have put out the least dps for a very long time. It may be because we have better threat modifiers on our abilities? I dont know. All I know is that I have to work a hell of a lot harder to tank on my warrior.

Also....Righteous Fury is good. I forgot it on Loken......yeah. Hard to hold aggro when that shit isnt on.

Well, that is my rant for the day. Have you played multiple tank classes? Which was the easiest for you?

I have your Tank shortage right here.....

/grabs junk.

I have a very easy solution to all of the problems with tank and healer shortages for 5 mans. Make emblems BoA. That simple. I would probably just tank non-stop to farm my emblems. Perhaps I would change it up once in a while, but I would mainly do it on Darraxus.

I love tanking. It is much more fun when there is actually some kind of payoff.....such as being able to gear your alts without them having to scrub it up. People would play their mains more, which means more competent and better geared toons in out Random LFG.

I am in you instances, getting all of you emblems. Please lets me send then where I would like. Seriously. I would send all of the frost to my Warrior. I would send the Triumph to my alts.....WIN WIN.

5 mans are one of my favorite parts of the game.....however, I generally don't care to run them unless there is some kind of incentive for it.

Sincerely yours,

A Tank who would always tank if you made it worth my while.

Know what you are talking about....

and don't be a douche about it. If you are wrong, don't be a douche and keep insisting you are right. I am seeing this on a fairly regular basis, especially with the new pug system.

I had one group where two guys were arguing back and forth about the mechanics of the Devourer of Souls fight. One was saying that everyone needs to stop damaging him when he puts up his soul link (or whatever that shit is called). The other insisted that it was only the one who got the link that had to stop DPS. This went back and forth, unpleasant words were exchanged, and I was just hoping they would shut their fucking mouth.

This brings me to what could be one of my greatest invention. I already came up with the Muthafucking Uppercut for that special someone. My newest invention is the Eat Crow or Die. It is simple really. If you have been generally been acting like a douchebag and passing on incorrect information, you have two choice. Eat Crow.....or Die. Simple. You either admit you were being a fuckity fucktard or you get deadly mustard gas released from your computer and you DIE.

Ok, so maybe that is a bit harsh.....but I know you have probably thought the same thing as I have. Sometimes people just need to shut the hell up. If someone sucks, usually "LULZ you suck" is not going to help. If you know how to fix their problem, then help and don't be Emperor Douchebagimus. If it is a gear matter and not skill.....then fucking get over it. If they are performing at an acceptable level, then let it go....or fuck off yourself. Admittedly, I will say something from time to time.

Just the other day I was in Heroic Occulus....there was a Hunter......doing 600 dps. I ask why he is doing 600 dps. His answer? "Because I suck lulz. I leveled to 80 by PvP and have all 70 gear lulz." This guy put zero effort into gearing before coming into a pug and being a complete waste of space. This guy would certainly qualify for the Muthafucking Uppercut.

Anyways, if you don't know shit, then don't say shit. If you do, speak up and dont be a fuckwad about it. Thank you.

Trying New Shit

I have been trying to change things up a bit on some of my toons. I have been building tank offsets for my Paladin and DK as well as a feral offset for my Druid.

Alot of these changes were to make things a little more fun. On my Druid, I rarely ever used my Boomkin spec. I rarely ever even seen anyone using Boomkin. All of the hot shit DPS seem to be feral.

The reason I switched my offspec on my Pally from Holy to Prot is....well, I fucking despise healing as a Paladin. It bores me to death. I love healing on my Druid and have Priest on the way up, so I figured I would just have another tank.

Sometimes it is nice to try something new. Unfortunately, I had not been collecting all that much gear for those other specs, so they are not complete.

Last night I started leveling my one handed sword skills......it was at 1 :(. Back to the rats in the Ironforge tram! I wonder how many people went by and wondered what the hell was wrong with me.

On a side note, why is IF's tram so much dirtier than SW's tram? There are a bunch of rats running around on one side and nothing on the other. I blame those damn gnomes.

I am accumulating a lot of Triumph emblems on my Warrior and I am not sure what I should get. I know tank spot says to get the Glyph of Idomitability.....but....but.....I lose stamina :( I am also almost up to 50 emblems of frost, which means I can replace the cloak I got on my very first run into Naxx 25. Seriously......I was rocking like 28k health buffed back then.....and wearing a few pieces of level 70.

Last night while picking up some Emblems for a tank set on my Paladin, I was top DPS and damage on every run. Take that fucking gearscore.

Merry Monday

Well, it is Monday and Christmas is over. I had a great time both inside of WoW and outside of WoW.

Outside of WoW, I was very grateful.....grateful that I didnt have to eat one more piece of fucking ham or turkey. At the in-laws they made prime rib and my family made steak. SCORE. I don't know what it is, but I just don't generally like Holiday food. It sucks. While at my families, we had barbequed little smokeys and meatball in the same dish. Of course I couldn't go ten seconds without making a joke about all of the weenies and balls we were shoving into our mouths :)

Inside of WoW, I got quite a bit done as well. My Deathknight is now 80 and collecting gear. I have picked up two pieces of emblem gear already. I also grabbed a piece on my Warlock over the weekend. The thing I am noticing is that the DPS pretty much sucks ass now. You are getting far less of the big 4k dps guys. When I run on my Pally, I almost always end up in first. On my Deathknight I have been top dps several times as well despite pretty crap gear overall. My DK is generally clocking in at about 2.5k dps as blood.

The biggest thing I need to work on with my Deathnugget is hit. I have way to fucking much....like almost 12 percent way too fucking much. Unfortunately, almost every upgrade I have gotten has slathered me with hit like I was some baby back ribs.

Anyways, how was your Holiday weekend?

Warrior Tanking 101: Halls of Reflection

What is this shit? Something useful? BOOOOOO!!!! Post more fail pug shit.

Ok Ok, calm down. This will only take a minute or five.

Most of you have probably already done Halls of Reflection. Most of you have probably also been part of a fail pug in Whore.....I mean HoR.

This is not the easiest instance to tank by a country mile. Especially for a Warrior tank. You have to do things right or your healer will get eaten up.

First things first. After all of the "Blah blah impale me with your big meaty frostmourne, Arthas" talk, you get to the actual instance. This starts out with 4 waves of adds, coming one wave at a time followed by a boss. Then 4 more waves of adds followed by the next boss.

The waves are the real pain in the twat part. I tank the waves in the alcove behind Falric. They come in many varieties and combos including mages, priests, hunters, rogues, and warriors. The kill order for me is always priest, mage, hunter, rogue, warrior. These pulls can be tricky because they come from random directions. It is your job as the uber leet tankxor to pick them all up. This is where good use of your abilities comes in. As they come up you will usually want to use Heroic throw on a mage. This will get the into range. All of the DPS and the healer should be out of LoS of the waves when they first activate. This will funnel them in the same direction.

I like to open with a thunder clap followed by a shockwave to get all of their attention. The most annoying one to get into position in the hunter as he can not be silenced. You will have to run out of LoS to make him follow you. Make sure your group knows the kill order and that they should be focusing on a specific target.

One of the most important things is not to blow waste your abilities. When there are only one or two of mobs left in a single wave, you will want to conserve some of that rage for the next wave. You will also want to make sure that Thunderclap and Shockwave are off of cooldown. If they aren't, your healer and dps may be in for a world of hurt.

After the first 4 waves, you will fight Falric. The fight is basically a tank and spank except that he fears you from time to time. This fear cannot be broken by Berserker Rage or Tremor Totem. Everyone will take a good chunk of damge during this fear. As long as the healer is up to stuff, you should be fine. Collect your loots and get back in your cubby hole for the next set of waves.

4 more waves exactly the same as the first sets of waves and then you will face the second boss, Marwyn. Marywnn is even easier. Dont stand in bad crap. He will curse people. And uhhhhh.....yeah. Beat his ass and take his loot.

From there you will go fight a big skeleton dude in the next hallway. He is tank and spank. He summons mirror adds of everyone in the party. Smash them to bits. I think they may explode or something. I didnt even notice to be honest.

From there Jaina decided she no longer has the constitution to choke on Arthas' knob and flees. You must defend her honor while she breaks apart the ice wall. Well you don't have to defend her honor really. Just kill more adds while Arthas walks after you like Jason Vorhees.

The mobs will come in waves of different kinds. The first and weakest are the ghoul mobs. They jump at you and will be very easy to AOE down. Pro Tip: Bring up the rear as you run from ice wall to ice wall. The mobs should default aggro on you. I also like to refresh one of my shouts just to make sure. The second kind of mob is the abomination. Make sure to turn them away so they dont puke on everyone. The third is a witch doctor that casts curses and shadowbolts. You should probably take these down first.

If you get to the end of the tunnel and the gunship comes to save you, feel free to pump up your dps numbers on Arthas. He wont mind.

Well, there you have it. No need to avoid it anymore. Darraxus help you SMASH!

Real Azeroth Heroes (Part 7)

Darraxus Presents: Real Azeroth Heroes

(Real Azeroth Heroes)

Today we salute you Mr. Meleekin.

(Mr. Meleekin in my instance!)

You have know what boomkin is really for....melee, and arent afraid to get in there and mix it up.

(With that one handed tanking weapon !)

And just like you, I like to experiment with my class a bit

(Never tried me a melee Warlock!)

So, keep queuing up for random instances. With you up close an personal tactics, and lack of using an AOE spell, you are a sure hit.

(I think he means hitting /group kick?)

So Mr. Meleekin in my pug, have a Bud on me and enjoy your your free emblems. I know when that once you have your T9, we can see what a Meleekin can truly do.

(MR. Meleeking ruining my instance GUYYYYYYYY!!!!!!)

GTFO out of my pug pls.....

This is Kevichi - Spirestone. He is a fucking douchebag wasting my time. He is tanking....wearing three pieces of t9 and a green bow from outlands in his ranged slot. Obviously this run did not go well. His 29k fully buffed health was not enough.......and he couldnt hold aggro for shit.

If you have the opportunity, feel free to go to his realm and call him a fuckwit. This has been a public service announcemnt by Darraxus the warrior. Oh, and did I mention HE HAS TAILORING!!!!!!

I also ran with a tank in Heroic UK. We pulled aggro on every pull. His second highest damage ability was melee. He complained because he cant generate as much threat as his prot pally. Ummmm.....sure you can. IF YOU ARENT TERRIBLE. 1000 dps is not good for ANYBODY at level 80. That includes tanks. At least he was somewhat willing to learn. The first dude just up and left the instance because the healer couldnt keep him up in his craptastic gear.

Like "The Donald".....

Only without the shitty hairpiece that looks like it is falling off. I gots sexy hair...but that it neither here nor there.

What I am talking about is the inscription market. Once I hit the gold cap, I lost much of the motivation to continue making glyphs and actually spent some of that money. Then the other day I got a wild hair up my ass and felt like making a bunch more.

Anyways, I ended up raking in 2400 gold yesterday. There were a bunch of glyphs going for around 50 gold and I sold several of them. It was nice to not have to sell everthing for 3 gold each.

Also, on an instancing side note, I have started running my Paladin through the LFG a bit. The queue times are obviously slower, but I was having so much damn fun smashing faces. Even with a few blues and a lot of ilvl 200 gear (including my weapon), I was out dpsing pretty much every DPS in all of my pugs despite being outgeared. Tons of fun.

I also came in second in damage in a FoS runs on my tank doing around 2200 dps for the run.

Overall, it was a pretty good weekend. I also continued the RAF with my wife and we got our baby Hunter/Priest combo to level 37.

Anyways, how was your weekend?

Like the Ken and Ryu of WoW.....

If Ken and Ryu were mentally challenged and trying to sodomize each other with a pickle. That is the only way I can explain the most recent of my fail pugs. Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum is a more accurate description for these legends.

Let me set it up for you. It is me on my tree, my buddy TJ on his Warrior tank, and Aussie James on his Death Knight. We group up and queue for a random dungeon and get UP. East emblems. When we get there, we are greated by a Ret Pally and Deathknight that are from the same guild. They are also in the most craptastic gear you can imagine. Both of them were rocking several pieces of the blue pvp saronite gear.

The Retardin has a few Heirloom pieces including the sword. The DK is rocking an ilvl 174 green weapon. With their gear, it it wasnt a piece of pvp gear, it was a green item. No enchants. No gems. Well lets give them a chance shall we.

After the first pull, the DK is doing 1000 dps. The Paladin is doing 800.......yes as a ret paladin. I was doing more at level 70 with even crappier gear on my ret pally. And he handed out ghetto buffs.....no reagents is all aboard the failboat.

We clear all the way to the first boss. They are still sitting at around 1000 and 800 dps each. I send a vote out to kick the paladin. It fails.....then I notice that bot of the nublets are from the same guild. At this point, I decide that I should attempt to out dps both of them while healing.

I pass the ret paladin in total damage done on the next boss. By the end of the instance, I was very close to passing the DK as well. This despite not doing in damage on the several trash pulls on the way to the first boss.

On the last boss, the crit melee trinket drops......surely both of them will roll need right? No. I win the roll when I greed it. I am wondering if they just really didnt care to get upgrades? Or perhaps they didnt want it because there was not enought intellect or spellpower 0_0

This is just another example of terribad players. We literally could have three manned the instance with just about the same efficiency. Aussie James did more damage that both combined.....I think that TJ on his tank may have done the same.

Welcome To Failsville

So, with the new LFG there have been many many good pugs. There have been very few overall bad ones, but there are a few very...ahem.....gifted individuals who stood out.

The first one that I will mention is the 12 year old Deathtard. Mind you, their DPS was very good. We down the boss in one of the new instances that drops the sexy new melee crit trinket. He loses the roll to an Enhancement Shaman. He WIGS THE FUCK OUT.

" What teh fuk, Shaman dont need armor penetration" (Speaking about the on use perhaps).

Shaman: "Last I checked Armor Penetration is good for any melee class"

Deathtard: "I got played by a fuking pimp. You are a bunch of faggot. FUCK YOU."

*Vote to kick Deathtard has passed*

The second one is a Warrior tank that I ran DTK with. Last I checked, I know a few things about how to play a prot warrior. A few pulls in, he is pulling a paltry 1k dps. I look at recount.....and I look again. Zero Revenge. Zero Heroic Strikes. That is odd.

Me: "Hey tank, do you use Revenge at all?"

Tank: "I haven't used it since BWL".

/FACEPALM

1) Revenge is one of a warrior's best threat and damage abilities.

2) Heroic strike is our rage dump. If you are constantly at full rage you are doing it wrong.

We got through the run ok. Somehow, Shield Slam was only his third highest damage skill. Behind Devastate and Shockwave. I really hope that he was not actually a main tank for a raiding guild. Some people just amaze me.

The third one I wanted to talk about was actually related to me by a pug tank who was actually very good. I got thrown into a random HoR, and the tank starts talking about how he hates tanking this place. I respond that at least he has a sexy tree healing it.

Then he tells me about the last Druid he ran this instance with. The Druid proclaimed himself a "Healing Touch Druid". As in he didnt use hots. He just casted Healing Touch. This has to be a new kind of brain damage. I haven't used Healing Touch without nature's swiftness in like....well EVER. According to the tank, that was the only spell he used. Obviously, the instance did not turn out so well.

If you just want to nuke heal, roll a paladin. Healing Touch is fail.

All three of these three can be found in the wonderful town of Failsville.

Know your role.....

AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH as the Rock would say. I have noticed that there is sometimes comments from the peanut gallery when it comes to pugs. People who have never played a specific role and commenting on how you or someone else is doing it.

Most commonly this happens as a healer or tank. Mostly healer though.

As a healer, I always try to heal everyone. Generally even if they are being a douche. Same thing with tanking. I don't make myself look bad just to prove a point, but sometimes it is funny to do so.

I have a WoW friend called Moparman. He is a mage. He has tried a bit of tanking, but he is completely beyond noob. He didn't know to tank in frost presence. He doesnt know rotations or even spec to be honest.

He does things sometimes just to give you shit. Once while I was tanking (we were on vent) he said, "Damn this tank can't tank for shit". To which I replied with a click from group ;P

Just yesterday, we were running Heroic Occulus. On his mage, he was standing in near melee range and getting hit by a blizzard. I politely said "Get out of the fucking blizzard, you arent melee!" He said "Yeah, but you will heal me." Of course I told him that he was going to die next time.

He has obviously never played a healer. Someone who hasnt played a healer or tank, can't always fully grasp the importance of that role and even concepts as building aggro or mana conservation. They just go balls out and hope that it all end up ok.

Quit being fucking wankers. You should try every role in the game so that you (as the Onyxia Wipe guy would say) "Know what the fuck to do". Learn other roles and it will make you a much better and aware player. You will also cease to look like such a dickface. The end.

Son of a......

More maintenance. Fuckity fuck fuck. Just what I wanted to wake up to. I was hoping to wake up and start chaining some heroics together, but Blizz had other ideas....grrrrrrr.

So I figured I would take this time to actually post something useful.....about tanking.

TankingTips

There.

I hope you didn't expect ME to come up with something useful.

There are people out there that give a shit about optimum this and that.

And I only partially listen to them.

Because I am pimp sauce and I dont answer to anybody.

Well not really, I answer to my wife.

But not internet tough guys. Who are probably as tough in real life as Stephen Hawking.

Sometimes I feel like the Seinfield of blogging. I am writing a blog about nothing. It is something, but it really isn't about anything in particular.

I just get up on my soapbox and ramble. It is kind of like this Nicholas Cage in any of his movies. Except with hair that doesnt look like it is held on my scotch tape.

Speak of Cage, who actually watches his movies anymore? He comes out with complete crap constantly.

Back to WoW. How many times have you said "I love pugging today?" If it is less than one, then it is not nearly enough.....get to that shit NAO.

The one drawback to the whole new LFG thing is that my DK is now sitting at level 79 completely ignored. I want to level him.....but I also want to gear all of my other toons. Tough decisions.

Well, the other drawback is that you get people who are total asshats. We had a couple of DPS ask if the pug group I was in wanted to do another heroic after we breezed thru DTK. The tank said "Not with you guys. I don't play with meter chasers." A few pulls later, the DK accidentally pulled and the tank just stood there....probably hoping to let them die. Not on my watch douchie McDouchebag. I healed them through it easily. I almost though about voting to kick him from the group. When you get into a pug, do your job and shut your fucking mouth.

Anyways, that will conclude my rant for the day. Peace out.

Puggin with my Pug

This weekend I did tons of pugging stuff on my Warrior. The new looking for group is awesome. I have gotten very few fail groups and everything as seemingly been great. With all of those pugs came a pug....a perky pug to be exact. You get a letter in the mail from the dev team letting you know that you can pug while you pug.

And the cute little bastard drag his ass across the ground. Im going to take him over to a friends to taint all of the furniture.

This weekend I picked up a crap ton of gear. I bought the Breastplate of the White Knight and the Saronite Swordbreakers. I also grabbed a tanking sword from one of the new instance and used emblems to get my ilvl 245 shoulders and helm. I had already picked up the ring. In about 10 minutes I will be grabbing my t9 gloves.

Overall, it was a very awesome weekend. How was yours?

I R DPS Tank????

So, apparently LFG on the weekend is much more fail. I had my first run being first in damage. I also had several runs over 2k dps while tanking...WOOT.

Anyways, I fucking love the new LFG. I get badgers faster than ever before. And emblems even.

I knew it wasn't just me......

Tanking bug in 3.3
There is a known bug that was introduced in 3.3 that can cause tanked mobs to move around in unpredictable and frustrating ways. A fix is incoming.

That shit was getting annoying. That is all. Carry on.

Real Azeroth Heroes (part 6)

Darraxus Presents: Real Azeroth Heroes

(Real Azeroth Heroes)

Today we salute you Mr. Auctionhouse Instant Undercutter.

(Mr. Auction House Instant Undercutter!)

You have your finger on the pulse of the auction house.....and no life at all. Nobody can undercut faster that you

(Clean those Pizza boxes out of your basement bedroom!)

And just like you, I like to make a bit of gold here and there

(Glyph markets keeps on tanking!)

So, never log out of the game. Your constant undercutting is what the auctionhouse needs......it's what we all need.

(Have you even slept this week?)

So Mr. Auction House Instant Undercutter, have a Bud on me and enjoy your your gold. I know when the game ends, you will still be living in that basement.

(MR. AUCTION HOUSE INSTANT UNDERCUTTER GUYYYYYYYY!!!!!!)

I done got memed.....

So, the guy who puts the spaghetti in WTFspaghetti threw a meme my way. I can honestly say that I have not done one of these for quite some time. They were very popular for a while and then seemed to die down a bit. I may as well do it and pass the curse...errrr....privledge to someone else. If you have already been tagged previously by it.....well too fucking bad. This is what the Doctor ordered.

What did you do in the World of Warcraft in 2009 that you'd never done before?

Really, I have been doing a lot of the same stuff that I have always done in WoW. I still pug raids, still pvp, still try to make gold. The biggest new thing I did was try to hit the gold cap. It took quite some time, but I finally did it. I also played in some instance groups that consisted 100 percent of people I know in real life. That is not something that I had done previous to this year. Then there was that wild night with the Night Elf Druid chick, the Dranei Paladin, and the jar of vasoline. Let me tell you, once you go Boomkin, you never go back.

What was your favorite new place that you visited?

In game it would have to be the Eye of Eternity. That instance was very tough when everyone was rocking Naxx gear and there was not pet scaling. It was one of those fights that made you go WHOA when the ground drops out from under you and you are saved by a drake.

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

A high ranking arena team maybe? I have really slacked on the arenas this expansion. Also, more boomkin on dwarf action. Giggity.

What was your biggest achievement of the year? What was your biggest failure?

My biggest achivement was getting my wife to start playing WoW. That was tough. She now has a level 80 and we are leveling up a Priest/Hunter combo currently. In real life, getting married was definately the biggest achivement for me.

The biggest failure would be that I havent gotten the wife as hooked on the game as I am. :)

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

It is brand new to the game, but the cross server LFG was practically made for me. If I have an hour, I can easily smash out two instances. It makes it so you can do instances with less waiting around which is what I have always wanted.

What do you wish you'd done less of?

For a while there, I was OBSSESSED with making tons of gold. It was what I wanted to do. Unfortunately it was very boring and took away from the other fun stuff that I really wanted to do . Thankfully I reached the cap and have just barely kept my glyph sales moving.

What was your favorite WoW blog or podcast?

I love tons of blogs including the ones on my blogroll. WTFspagetti, Jong and Meg's Asian Bukkake party, QQcasting, and many more. If they make me laugh, I will certainly be back for another poke.

On the other hand, I don't really listen to podcasts though I have thought of making my own.

Tell us a valuable WoW lesson you learned in 2009.

Having fun with the people you enjoy is the best part of WoW. Do what you enjoy, not what you think you HAVE to do or you will get burnt out. You are not obligated to anyone in this game. If they have a problem with it, tell them to fuck off. You will feel better for it. Also, Swedish Penis pumps do not work ;)

I hereby tag my Vordan the Palatard (aka my sister), Occeleta the Lackofpostaholic, and Fish because he quit WoW without my permission and now I am going to guilt him into continuing to blog about WoW....so there.

I come from a land down under.....

No. Not I actually. My online buddy James, or Aussie James as I call him came back to the game after a several month hiatus trying out some of the other new games. Glad to have him back as he was one of the Original Night Crew Gangstas. Well not really gangstas......we roll on an RP server. You can't be too gangster when you can't even do drive by gankings.

Anywho, I got to play around with the new group interface and I must say.....it feels like they got it right to me. It could be that I played at 1am, but it worked like a charm. When I logged in, first thing I did was jump into the Random queue on my warrior. About 5 seconds later I was tanking Heroic OK. It matched me with some pretty good players too. All three DPS were above 2500 and the Shammy healer was pretty leet as well. One nice thing I noticed is that it apparently puts the OK daily in your quest log if you are randomly tossed in there. SCORE.

About this time, Aussie James sent me a whisper and asked if I wanted to tank anything. He invited me to group and once again we were off to see the Wizard. We got HoL which was smashed with the quickness. The thing that made me laugh was that one of the random people who ended up in my group was actually a guildy lol. What are the chances of that?

On another note, I played a bit with my wife today and we got our little RAF Priest and Hunter to level 20. She is once again going on about getting her damn "ridiculous". Which is what she calls the mechanostriders. Which means assloads of runecloth down the road.

Anyways, overall, I have been pretty impressed so far. What are your first impressions?

3.3 is here....finally

But not really. The patch is apparently downloaded, but I am still not able to log on. I am sure I will be greeted by a buggy and laggy piece of crap when I am able to.....but damn it, it is my laggy and buggy piece of crap.

I am jazzed about the new 5 mans.....in fact I am doing spirit fingers as we speak....and then punching myself in the face for doing spirit fingers.

3.3 may cause me to put my DK on a hold a bit. I hit level 79 with him yesterday, but there is just way too much delicious content for me to dive into.

Plus I want to get me a perky pug. It drags its ass on the ground....no bosses room will be safe from worm infested pugs (dogs, not the people). Speaking of Pugs, I have an uncle that actually goes by pug. Mostly because he has a face only a mother can love (very pug like).

What are your plans for the exciting new patch. I think I will actually start tanking shit again since there are upgrades to be had.

And I leave you with the win text of the day between my wife and I.

Wife: Because U were giving me attitude today, I called Chuck Norris and he's coming after your damned ass. Sorry, U had it coming.

Me: Well I contacted Steven Segal and he is headed that way.....to make you watch his movies.

Wife: Too bad I strangled Steven Segal with a snuggie. See!!!! Those damn things do come in hand.

Me: Shit. I see you found your Christmas present then.

Holy Drunken WoWzors Batman!

Jaeger and Redbull......I think that is what John Cougar Mellencamp was singing about when he said "Hurt so good". Fuck balls I drank a lot of it yesterday. A whole 750 ml bottle a lot. I really didnt mean to.....wifey kept refilling it.....and I kept drinking it. And I played WoW (mostly terribly) while I did.

I was on vent with my wife, sister, and a friend. They thought it was pretty funny. My wife and I died in deadmines about 5 times when shit would aggro our lowbie toons while I was charging around drunkenly having myself a good ole time.

Drinking and WoW is probably not a good idea.....unless of course you are watching someone drink and WoW....then it is hilarious I would imagine.

While I was drunkenly not paying attention I got a whisper from someone telling me they love my blog! SWEET. When I saw the message, they had already logged off, so thank you. In my drunken genious, I sent that person 100 gold in the mail. At least I think that I did......well yeah. You get the idea.

Also, my sister started a blog. Check it out.

Well then. Back to my pepto bismol.

BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!!!!!

He-Man is the man. Not just a man....He is a man. He-man. Much like Chuck Norris...only in animated form. He kills shit with swords and rides a fucking tiger. I would love to ride a tiger to work. I would park it in HR.

Anywho, I reached a new level on my Warlock. Not as in I somehow hacked the game like Mr. T and already hit level 81. I hit 4k on a boss for the first time....and I did it twice in VoA. I know there are tons of Warlocks out there ripping off 5k dps all the time......but I am wearing a few blues, some ilvl 200 gear, and a rocking a level 70 wand.

What did I get for my troubles. They hooked me up with my t9.5 pantaloons of the raging emo. There was another much better geared lock from my guild there who just barely out dpsed me......he should have been significantly ahead.....BUT HE WAS USING THE LEVEL 70 SHADOWBOLT SPAM!!!!! This may just be how he wants to play considering he is a damn good player and has probably the highest dps in guild on his mage....by COME ON? Shadowbolt spam.....that is sooooo last expansion.

I love having a vast menagerie of toons at level 80 and hope to add my DK soon. The log on screen is like my own personal stable......the best little whore house in Azeroth. You need something done, Darraxus love you long time.

Edit: WIN TEXTS OF THE DAY. More texts back in forth with my wife that win.

Wife: I love u honey bunz! See I love u so much I spelled buns wrong.....Ur welcome.

Me: I love u too sugar titz. I spelled titz wrong because I love u. Ur welcome. Titz. Titz. Boobz.

Wife: Don't fuzzin talk to me.

How?

How can people be bad on Deathtards. I have been leveling mine at the rate of a level a day for the last 4 days. It is so amazingly easy. There is no down time. You can hit like a truck and heal yourself. How do I see level 80 DKs doing 800 dps? HOW? I did 1300 on the Amphitheater of Anguish at level 75.

Is it the same thing that leveling Huntards suffer from? There is just no need to do anything spectacular? A Hunter can sent in his pet and autoshot and get to 80. A Deathknight can probably auto-attack his way to 80. Maybe that is why you see some Deathtards DPSing in Frost Presence.

I really don't get it. Sometimes I feel like I am dealing with the absolute dregs of videomanity. The ones who had to look at the controller while playing Nintendo and constantly fell in holes on Super Mario Bros.

The ones who had to sit next to the screen on Duck Hunt or be mercilessly mocked by the dog.

The ones who only try to jump kick in every fighting game. No other move is even considered.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Randomness Tuesday

So yeah. This post is going to be completely random. There will be no rhyme or reason. Well maybe a rhyme....but probably no reason.

Do you ever find yourself thinking of shit in WoW terms? I literally came up with a new WoW song on my way home last night. Lady Gaga came on and I started just adding words to it until that shit became mine. Sorry Lady Gaga, but I'm about to butcher your shit.

I've run a little bit too much
All of the DPS start to rush.
Start to rush by.
A dizzy tanking dance
Can't find my defensive stance.
Where are my keybinds, I lost my mouse.
What's going on with sword and board?
I love this instance baby, but I can't see straight anymore.
Keep it cool what's the name of this boss?
I can't remember but it's alright, alright.

[Chorus:]
Just tank. Gonna be okay.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just tank. Spin that sunder babe.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just tank. Gonna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Tank. Tank. Tank. Just tank.

Wish I could use my demo shout.
How'd I turn my shield upside down? Upside down, right.
Control your aggro babe
Druids have thorns they say.
And we're all gettin' loot tonight.
What's going on with sowrd and board?
I love this instance, but I can't tank straight anymore.
Keep it cool what's the name of this boss?
I can't remember but it's alright, alright.

[Chorus]

[Jong]
When I come through in the instance checking out that recount log.
Can't believe my eyes Darraxus tanking without a flaw.

And I ain't gonna' give it up, steady DPS pick it up like a call
I'm gonna hit it, I'm gonna hit it and flex and do it until tomorrow, yeah
Jong i can see that you got so much energy
The way I'm twirling up devine storm round and round
There's no reason at all why you can't outaggro me
In the meantime tank, let me watch you break it down.

[Chorus]

Half Psychotic, Sick hypnotic got my blueprint its tanktronic.
Half Psychotic, sick hypnotic got my blueprint tanktronic.
Half Psychotic, Sick hypnotic got my blueprint its tanktronic.
Half Psychotic, sick hypnotic got my blueprint tanktronic.

Go. Use your shield slam, carve it out, tank it, aggro
I got it, just stay close enough to tank it
Don't slow! Drive it, clean it wipe-o, bleed it
Spend the last gold
(I got it)
On your Repair Bill
(I got it)

[Chorus]

One more random thought today. You know you have found the perfect person when you flow off each other in conversation even if it is in text form. Conversation over text with my wife last night.

Wife: Jesus has his hands on you. Whoever stops this will be unhappy. Tell eight friend u love them and god will fix something good.

Me: Whats with the Jesus spam?

Wife: You didnt like my Jesus spam?

Me: Im going to assault your phone with Chuck Norris spam.

Wife: Im going to assault your @#$% with Chuck Norris.

Me: LOL

/Win